The most interesting man on the planet.
He lives vicariously through himself.
He once taught a German shepherd to bark in elvish.
He never says something tastes like chicken – not even chicken.
He’s been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into a room.
He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.
Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.
He’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.
When it is raining, it is because he is thinking of something sad.
His shirts never wrinkle.
He is left-handed. And right-handed.
You can see his charisma from space.
The guards often question him, just because they find him interesting.
He once punched a magician. That’s right. You heard me.
His blood smells like cologne.
On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.
His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.
The pheromones he secretes have been known to affect people miles away, in a slight but measurable way.
His hands feel like rich brown suede.
He is the most interesting man in the world.